(ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN IN THE CONTINUUM, VOLUME V, NUMBER 9)

Cari Fratres et Sorores,

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

The College of Thelema has as its guiding purpose, that each person should “Know Thyself” as the ancient Greek injunction was so right in saying. This has echoed down the centuries as it is an invaluable bit of advice. For this reason, the College asks each student to write an autobiography which would aid the student to an understanding of his/her own life, motives and direction towards accomplishing the True Will. First, though, the student is often a discoverer of his finite will, his purpose in life, why he/she has come to earth to accomplish a certain task. This task is different for everyone and often when a person is not aware of what is happening in the life, the task is clouded over with all sorts of emotions and actions which have nothing much to do with the central purpose, or so it seems.

But there are past lives to consider and an accumulation of karma and a distinct way of relating to events for each person. For instance, in most cases, folks choose their own parents. This is the beginning of this life’s journey and what happens between child and parent is, of course, very useful in understanding what happens later. If there is trouble between child and parent, that is a clue that some sort of reaction has been set up in the past and something needs to be set right. If persons hate each other, they come again into life closely associated so that the hate can be worked out. Sometimes abuse might happen because the person involved was an abuser in the past or might become one in the future. Each incident is a lesson so that each person might turn to the higher spiritual side of him or herself. But those who carry grudges and bad memories are blocking the learning and the knowledge of this lesson.

Those who love each other are also closely associated in various lives. This accounts for the fact that friendships or love affairs might seem to spontaneously emerge out of the welter of life events. Sometimes an attachment to another person must be broken so that new lessons can be learned. Sometimes a wealth of learning is available from those who are loved. Life is a school and we are all here to learn our own true way.

All mixed up in this equation are the actions of the Holy Guardian Angel, who may suddenly step in to events or projects or thinking and administer ordeals as needed or perhaps aid the person to achieve to His Knowledge and Conversation. But each ind~dual must make the effort on his/her own to achieve a knowledge of what is meant by certain events and where they have led in the future.

This issue of In the Continuum is the next to the last as the issues will end with Volume V, No. 10. I thought it might be of interest to let my students and readers know some of the events of my life, which are unique to me, but which led me in the right direction, so that before long I did achieve to the K. and C. of the H.G.A. and have had this guidance for the rest of my life whenever needed.

Whenever needed — this is something to keep in mind. One day a student mocked me by saying he did not have to worry about any of his actions as the H.G.A. dictated them all. I turned in a quick mood and said, “He does not tie your shoelaces for you!” This small remark was meant to show that a person must struggle and work to achieve this state of consciousness. We are all of us responsible for our own phenomena and it is only when we go too far astray that we are aided by the intercession of the H.G.A. But we must be alert to the opportunities and the whisperings which are given to us. I often say that listening to the intuition is the first step. And, of course, in the work one must do, much work must be done in meditation.

So then,my first step into Thelema came about because I was bored with my job in the bank. I hated to be shut away from the world all day and could not commune with nature in any way. That is one of my peculiarities, a love of nature, of trees, and growing things.

To alleviate my boredom, I attended night school for an acting class. This decision was made because of an unfortunate incident when I first attended Junior College and I had been torn between art classes and acting classes. The acting class was my choice for night school and there I had Regina Kahl as the teacher. She had been on the stage as an opera singer but usually in minor roles as her voice was a contralto.

At the end of the semester she invited the whole class to attend a small play in their house on Winona Boulevard, as she had a ready-made stage in the attic. This was where the Gnostic Catholic Mass had been performed for many years. Regina’s decision to put on a small play was allowed only once, but I did not know that at the time. Much later it was forbidden by Wilfred and Jane as the atmosphere for the Mass was polluted by this use of the dais, etc.

Our drama class had a very fine evening as Regina loved to entertain and was at her best on such occasions. As I was about to leave on this fine summer night, a small man talked to me and asked if I had ever heard of Aleister Crowley. I said I hadn’t and at that he began to recite some of Crowley’s poetry to me. I was intrigued as my life had been too short of intellectual people and this I needed. Regina and Wilfred, for it was he who recited the poetry, invited everyone to attend the Mass which was given every Sunday night. As I walked away I knew I had to know these people better, and so began my long acquaintanceship with Thelema.

After that, I attended many Sunday evening masses and also found a lover, Paul Seckler, who attended as well and who was also a drama student in Regina’s classes. In due time, Paul and I were married. But before that happened and while I was still working in the bank, I moved into a small room that Regina and Wilfred were anxious to let. The household needed the extra money from boarders.

I spent many puzzled reading sessions with some of Crowley’s writings and many evenings were spent with Wilfred explaining things having to do with Thelema. It took a very long time to catch on to the complexities of Crowley’s writings and thought and to this day I am still unraveling the meanings in certain Holy Books. But this is the way it should be, when Liber Legis and certain other Holy Books are meant to last for at least two centuries.

Paul and I had our first baby, and about two months later he ran away. I was destitute and didn’t know which way to turn or how I was to support my baby. Wilfred showed up one evening at the house where I boarded and offered a position as housekeeper for their house on Winona Blvd. Since I was anxious to be with my baby and suspicious of baby sitters who might not do the right things, I was very happy to accept the position. This job had no salary as they could not afford it. But they took care of visits to the doctor for the baby and some of my minor needs and I had a roof over my head and good food in my mouth and my baby was with me and as a further bonus, Regina’s students often came to Mass and we had lovely summer evenings in the house with discussing various matters as young people do. I lived there for two years and attended Mass every Sunday night. I learned much from Jane and Mary K., her sister, who was a nurse but not a Thelemite.

That is how it all started and from the first I was intrigued by the Tarot but I did not own a pack of Tarot cards until they were finally printed in 1973. It was Jane and my study of Tarot and various other subjects which kept me there in spite of Regina and her wild outbursts of temper. A great deal happened in my life later, but I never gave up my study of Thelema. I joined the O.T.O. in 1939, and the A∴A∴ in June of 1940 with Jane as my teacher.

Over the years, I studied occult subjects, Psychology and Astrology and gained some experience with these matters. Meanwhile, my marriage having failed badly as my husband ran away when our three children became too much for him to support, I went on Aid to Needy Children and when my smallest one, my son, went to first grade, I went back to college. In six years I graduated with honors and an M.A. and managed to bring up my growing children by myself, usually arranging that my college studies were done away from home in the same hours that the children were in school. After graduation, I found a job in Northern California and taught art in High School for twenty years.

Even before retirement, I was the one mainly responsible for the new growth of the O.T.O. from a very dormant state. This was because I invited Grady McMurtry out to California. He had been working in Washington, D.C. It wasn’t very long before I discovered he was an alcoholic and relied on other people to do any work needed for the O.T.O. He could not pull it off by himself. There is a long story here which I shall write. So then, I did all the necessary work for initiations at which he presided and looked quite important in the flowing robes I had made for him. I also had in mind to start a College of Thelema but soon found that Grady knew very little about occult facts and made some very serious blunders. We parted after six years and I was on my own.

But I am certain that the H.G.A. had guidance for me in his actions as it wasn’t very long before my successor was found. Just as I had succeeded Jane Wolfe, so now I had a successor, and not one but several. In the Spring of 1973, I started our publication, In the Continuum, which was admired in various countries around the world. I knew what it meant to be utterly bewildered by Crowley’s writings and what it meant to be a student lost in a welter of great works. I never forgot this experience and so when I started the College of Thelema, I addressed the problems of the beginning students. I did the same for In the Continuum, and that is why so many write in and say how helpful it has been to them. For this, I am grateful, I feel I have accomplished a task which was mine alone, which had to do with my True will and some of its workings in the finite Will. Now it is time to wind up this publication and turn to the story of my life, which quite a few persons have asked me to write. Meanwhile, the story of Jane Wolfe, which has been published in I.T.C., will some day be published in book form. I think that the attainment of those who travel the path previously, can be of some assistance to those who wish for help in their own path. May you all succeed to attain to the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel.

Love is the law, love under will.

All writings of Phyllis Seckler are copyright 2009 College of Thelema of Northern California. All Rights Reserved.